I Want to Change, But…

We talk a lot about change. Mostly, we talk about the fact that other people need to change.

When I talk with people about the work that we do at SOS Leadership, I often hear the following response:

“______________ really needs you.”

Sometimes the blank is the person’s boss, a coworker, a significant other, a friend, or an enemy. It doesn’t really matter. The fact is that the vast majority of people think that someone else needs to change more than they do.

Here are the most common excuses we use to avoid change:
  • I want to change, but someone else needs to change more than I do.
  • I want to change, but the time isn’t right.
  • I want to change, but I am the way I am.
  • I want to change, but I’m not sure I can do it.
  • I want to change, but I’ve gotten this far being the way I am. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
  • I want to change, but I’m not willing to put the time and energy into making the change.
  • I want to change, but I’m not sure I need to change.
Let’s be honest. Change is hard. Extremely hard. We’re full of excuses. You make excuses. I make excuses. Ultimately, all of the excuses we make are about fear. We often fear the unknown. Embracing change means embracing the unknown. It means taking personal responsibility for ourselves. It means being aware of the need to change and being motivated to make it happen.

As we’ve said on this blog before, “Life is growth. Change is optional. Choose wisely.”

Read more about change:

One thought on “I Want to Change, But…

  1. I agree with you that resisting change is about fear, but it also is often about a willingness to embrace delayed gratification. There are many things that we may want to change, but the process for getting there is the hard part. For example, as we have talked about, exercise is hard, but the good feelings afterward are great.

    We live in a world where we expect instant gratification and our bad habits are usually motivated by short-term needs, rather than what may be better for us in the long term. Thus, change requires a goal, a long-term vision, and a true desire to be someone different from whom we are today. It’s hard, but as a boss of mine at Intel once reminded me, “no pain, no gain.” Ironically, growth happens from embracing pain.
    Dr. Pauline

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