As I was telling someone about the work SOS Leadership does in teaching people the goal setting process, I heard the following (very common) response:
“I don’t share my goals with people because I don’t want people to know when I don’t achieve them.”
When we’re honest with ourselves, most of us probably feel this way to some extent. It’s not easy to put your goals out there because sharing them can result in accountability (best case scenario) or sabotage (worst case scenario).
In our Protecting Goals Program, we remind participants that it’s important to only share your goals with those who will affirm and support you in ways that are helpful. Ultimately, we have to choose to overcome the effects of the negative attitudes and low expectations of others. At times, we may even have to ignore the input of others, particularly those who don’t believe in our ability to achieve our goals.
Sometimes those who love us the most can put up roadblocks between us and our goals. Why? In some cases, it’s because they’re trying to protect us, because they love us and don’t want to see us get hurt. In other cases, their intentions aren’t as honorable and can often be very complicated. This is their problem, not yours. We must not let others dissuade us from achieving our goals. We must believe in ourselves, even when others don’t believe in us.
When you find affirming, positive people who will hold you accountable in ways that are helpful, hold onto them. We all need good folks like this on our life journeys. Say thank you often.
Share your goals with someone who matters to you today. Tell them what you plan to achieve, when you will accomplish the goal, and what steps it will take to get there. Be sure to share how you would like for them to support you and hold you accountable. I’d love to hear how it goes.